It is one thing to keep a belief because you never allowed any challenge to it and another to retain it because it prevailed over all challenges. Likewise, it is one thing to remain in a long term relationship because you never allowed any challenge to it and another to remain in it because you keep choosing it despite permitting challenges to it.
I don’t want to just survive, I want to flourish and suck the marrow of this universe while I’m in it. I want to explore and discover every worthwhile possibility of existence. From the deepest caverns to the highest mountains, from the serenity of solitude to the ecstasy of union, my body is aging but my soul is ever young! Stability and safety are important only as a brief respite of rest and preparation for the next great leap into the unknown — where I will face death, madness or treasures, and share them with mankind.
To do what everyone else is doing and expect a different result is either a proof of our insanity or undue faith in our own uniqueness. To achieve a different result from the boring complacencies, the petty squabbling and jealousies, and the slow deaths of the spark of eros and the fire of love, we need to do something different — become something different.
Freedom is to eros what oxygen is to fire. Everybody tries to protect the flame of eros by limiting freedom but in doing so they kill its very preconditions. Eros is a force of transformation, and in transformation there is no security but danger, uncertainty and chaos! Only those who allow for chaos inside them can give birth to a dancing star! Give birth to an astral self that sees the past limitations of its predecessor with contempt, as now useless shackles to its new activity.
Eros yearns for a challenge to discover its own strength. To forbid it is to block the avenue for its self-actualization. Eros is prepared to die to discover its immortality. To remove that possibility is to kill its destiny.
It is only in an open relationship that challenges are permitted without hypocrisy and dishonesty. Where a couple is willing to risk the death of the relationship so that it can discover its true power. Where knowing you are meant for each other is a result not just of intuition but experience. Where you choose each other despite never losing the freedom to choose otherwise. Where being with each other is more of a daily heartfelt choice than a daily habit of convenience.
I want the strength of my relationship not to be based on the strength of past walls we’ve erected against the world but on the strength of our love to face any challenge that comes our way. Where the only thing keeping me in it, is not my weakness and fear but my strength and love.
Eros is a wild horse that throws off those not strong enough to earn the privilege of riding it. Ride it hard – so that you keep reminding it that it is wild and you are strong.